The secret garden meeting
This is from the October meeting. A little late, but here none the less.
The questions from the October meeting:
So this meeting we would like to talk about where you are. Where are you at in your grief. Has it been years or just weeks since you lost your baby. How are you feeling. How do you hope you will feel in the future. Have you found any peace at all?
Where am I in my grief? Well it's been 2 years since we delivered Carly. We spent 4 beautiful short months with her surrounded by the 4 walls of the hospital. In March, it will mark her 2 year ANGELversiery. It has been one year this month since losing Hannah. I'm feeling pretty good these days. I don't cry too often anymore. Although sometimes it makes me feel guilty. I sometimes feel like I should be grieving more. Then when I start to feel that way I start to think of the strength that I have prayed for. I can only believe that God has completely strengthened me and comforted me through this whole process. I think the lack of tears comes from faith in knowing that I will see them again and that "goodbye" wasn't forever. I feel a lot of peace over my losses. I know that only comes from God. I think of my girls daily. And I thank God daily for the short time I had with them. In the future I hope I'm as at peace with my losses as I am now. My prayers go to my husband though. We were talking about our girls the other day ad how we feel in the here and now. I was telling him how I have found comfort and that it's no longer something weighing me down. He told me it still makes him sad to think of the girls. Hearing him say that made me sad. I don't want him to be sad when he thinks of them. I want him to smile when he thinks of them like I do. Grief comes in many forms for everyone and grief is different for everyone. I wish no one ever had to go through it. Sadly though it happens. I just hope people who do face it are surrounded with a great support system mike I have been.