Thursday, February 19, 2009

Pray For Baby Jake!!

Baby Jake is in the CVICU (cardiovascular intensive care unti) at Levine Children's Hospital. He has CDH was Hypoplastic right heart syndrome, possible transplant. He needs our prayers too! His caringbridge site is under JacobWarfield. Please stop by this site and show your support and give much needed thougts and prayers. We know God will is in control. I pray that God watches over baby Jake and works through the doctors to give him the best care possible. I pray that if he does need a transplant that he is able to get it quickly and make a fast full recovery. Please let everyone you know, know about this precious child so we can have him lifted up by many to God!!!

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Need Some Serious Prayer Warriors!!!!

I got a call today from my brother. My brother is a music pastor in his church. He told me of a girl today that is currently attending his church. She wasn't feeling well and went to the hospital yesterday. She found out she was 7 months pregnant. The doctor told her that her baby boy would not survive. The baby's brain is not fully developed. She is very upset right now and is new to the christian faith. Rodney (my brother) asked me if I would talk to her. I told him I would and I have yet to talk to her as of now. One thing I know for sure is that the doctors aren't always right. Carly's brain wasn't formed completely either, and we enjoyed her for 4 months. I know another lady who's twin grandchildren were born and one of the baby's brain wasn't divided and they told them the baby wouldn't survive either it's now been 8 months and the baby is doing well with developmental delays, but she's her and alive. God is always in control and always has the last say. I have been crying for this girl because I know what it's like to carry a baby and know that the outcome may not be good. I have also went through 2 losses in less than 8 months. The pain is very real and hurts to your core. God is good though and has strengthened me through our struggles here on earth. I pray that God will give this girl peace and strength to what ever may come her way. I also ask for her faith to grow stronger day by day. I pray that God places her hand on this little boy and heals his body with every ounce of healing power He has. Please join with me and become prayer warriors for this girl and her unborn child. We know that God is capable of ALL things and nothing is too big for Him to handle. Please pass along this information to as many people as possible so that we can get as many prayers as possible for this girl and her baby boy. The doctors did say that she would have to carry the baby to term and go ahead with a normal delivery.

Lets come together and get the whole world praying that God will show Himself through a BIG miracle!!! Maybe this is what she's needs to strengthen her faith and reach out to others in need!

Thursday, February 5, 2009

From Proverbs31

This is today's devotion that is listed on After talking to my high risk OB today and letting the information sink in some I came to this devotion. This really makes sense to my life. My life has been interrupted with many different road construction sites. First it was my pregnancy and life with Carly then it was her death. Then it was my little brothers car accident leaving him suffering with a severe traumatic brain injury then the birth our dead second daughter Hannah. My life has been full of interruptions, but I know that soon it will lead to a beautiful garden that God has been patiently creating for me to enjoy. I just have to keep on following God path and soon He will reveal it to me. Please read on to see what I'm talking about.

Orange and White Barrels
Van Walton

“I will lead the blind by ways they have not known, along unfamiliar paths… I will turn the darkness into light before them and make the rough places smooth. These are the things I will do; I will not forsake them.” Isaiah 42:16 (NIV)

Last spring I monotonously approached my neighborhood exit where a newly posted sign announced that I could not make my normal left turn. Lined up on the road as far as I could see around the bend was a neatly laid row of orange and white barrels. Road construction had interrupted my usual routine.

My daily plans would now be detoured due to the construction. Faced with this disruption that would surely put a kink in my life, I felt agitated and even hit the steering wheel with my fist. I would have to design new ways to reach my destinations and I wasn’t happy about it.

One day when construction was completed enough to allow some through traffic, I turned left and surveyed the sights. I couldn’t believe what I saw. No more lovely forest. Gone were the inviting trails into the woods. Decades-old wooden fences and bridges had disappeared. Honestly, the place resembled the combined affects of earthquake and fire. That whole summer I rolled up to the intersection with its orange and white barrels, and it triggered in me negative thoughts and feelings.

Soon after, my life was more seriously interrupted. A disturbing phone call forced me to drop everything. The bad news exploded like a bomb - my heart and mind quaked with emotion. Spiritual frustration filled my soul in the following months. I can’t remember how many times my fist hit hard places. I screamed at God when life carried me away from the direction I wanted to take.

“How long will You take me out of my way?” I questioned God. I longed for my life before the interruption. Managing my days on autopilot was no longer an option as I faced my new circumstances. Slowly I began to see that this spiritual reconstruction paralleled the roadwork outside my neighborhood.

Once all the orange and white barrels were gone and I was free to turn left at that intersection, I appreciated the results. Smooth asphalt spread out before me. Two lanes of traffic moved steadily. The “earthquake zone” had been transformed into a park-like setting. A tree-lined sidewalk encouraged pedestrians to walk toward the ballpark and the neighborhood church. Admiring the new landscape, I realized I’d been inconvenienced, but now I could see that the long delays were worthwhile.

Today, although my life continues to zigzag through various “construction sites,” I realize God allowed me to experience the orange and white-barreled roads to illustrate a truth. He is at work up ahead rearranging the landscape of my life. Psalm 37:34 says, “Put your hope in the Lord. Travel steadily along his path. He will honor you by giving you the land.” (NLT)

I may not be able to see what that land looks like, but I believe His Word. So, with His help, I put my hope in Him, traveling the paths He lays out for me, even though they are not the familiar roads I would normally take.

Father God, You know how difficult life is right now. My interrupted life and the difficult roads You have me traveling feel like they’ll break me. Give me the capacity to graciously travel the paths You lay out before me. Help me trust You, In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Related Resources:
Visit Van Walton’s blog

From the Pound to the Palace by Van Walton

Hidden Joy in a Dark Corner by Wendy Blight

Application Steps:
Memorize one of the referenced Bible verses. Pray it out loud when disruptions threaten to interrupt your life.

How has my life been interrupted recently?

How would God have me respond to this most recent disturbance?

Power Verses:
Psalm 25:4, “Show me the right path, O Lord; point out the road for me to follow.” (NLT)

© 2009 by Van Walton. All rights reserved.

My High Risk Doctor Finally Called Me Back Today!!

Well several things were brought up. The first thing brought up was Hannah's size. Dr. Mitra said she was def. too small. But you know Dr. Hall and the autopsy report said she was normal size for her gestation. Dr. Mitra assured me that they were wrong. I knew she was small but when I was told she was not I just figured it 'could' be normal for her to be that size. Guess I was wrong. As far as the infection, Dr. Mitra said there was only traces of it and not enough to cause a problem. He said if it was enough to cause a problem that it would have thrown me into pre-term labor and I would have been very sick with high fevers and chills. He is more concerned about her growth. He thinks she was taking the same path as Carly, but just in a later stage during the pregnancy. He has no clue as to why this keeps happening. He says he's already done all the test there is to do on me and there's nothing left to do as far as testing goes. He says he can't promise that it won't happen again either. He did say he wants me to take a baby aspirin and prenatal vitamin for 3 months prior to getting pregnant again. He says I don't have to go on bed rest or anything like that. He says if it does happen again it's nothing I'm doing or anything I can do to prevent it. He said he would follow me the entire pregnancy next time and I would be considered extremely high risk. He said if things start to look shaky we would discuss getting me admitted to the hospital for the remainder of the pregnancy and monitoring me before delivering early and having a stay in the NICU. He was very concerned as to why Dr. Hall didn't let me have a VBAC. He said that would have been the best route to go. Now that I have 2 different scars on my uterus it may be next to impossible to have a VBAC the next time. I asked him about the placenta increta and he said that they can prove that I even had it. But if I did indeed have it it's possible that get it again and that the worst thing that could happen is having a hysterectomy. He said if I really wanted to have a child then that alone shouldn't stop us from trying. I asked how long I should wait and he said he couldn't make that decision for me. I told him I have heard a year to wait after a c-section is what I've heard and he said that it couldn't hurt to wait a year but it wouldn't hurt if we decided to TTC earlier. So that's it, we have no clue as to what's going on. But here's my take on it. I have a bicournate uterus, and I've read that women with a BU have a higher risk of IUGR (intrauterine growth restriction). So with Carly she was SEVERELY restricted, I think she stretched my uterus some and allowed Hannah to grow bigger and longer. Now I think that with Hannah being a good bit bigger than Carly she stretched my uterus even more. So I think when we get pregnant again it will go even longer the next time. But who knows, that's just my thoughts. Regardless of what happens next time I'm going to be worried sick the WHOLE time! Now as far as when we are going to start TTC, that's still in question. Maybe in June and maybe in September and maybe later. We are just trying to soak in all the info right now. I know right now I don't feel emotionally ready.

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

It Snowed!

Last night before going to bed Ryan opened the door to look out like he always does. He said, "Rachel, it snowed!" I couldn't believe it. The weather man assured us that we wouldn't see any snow here. I should have known better, they are never right. So before I laid down for the night I grabbed my camera to snap a picture. By time I woke up today at 11am (I know...I was being lazy!) it was almost completely gone, but the bone chilling air was still there. The snow is always so pretty. It's like God is covering everything with His glory. Wiping away all imperfections. It's always been so breath taking for me.

Update on Loren and Her Baby Evan

They are awaiting discharge papers now! Evan is going home today. He weighs 4 pounds 3 ounces right now. Loren is beyond excited to be bring her new baby boy home to start their family. Thank you all so much for your prayers during this time.

Monday, February 2, 2009

When Your Worst Fears are Realized

I read this on Proverbs 31 Ministries . I think this is a great web site and has tons of daily devotions. All of these things on this site remain true and I see how they fit my everyday life. I read this one today and wanted to share it with everyone.

When Your Worst Fears are Realized
Marybeth Whalen

“You came near when I called you, and you said, ‘Do not fear.’” Lamentations 3:57 (NIV)

All my life, I had two very real fears: that I would have a child with a birth defect, and that my marriage would break up. Even before I was married, I worried about how I would handle these things if they happened. Perhaps that seems silly to some, but some of you might know exactly what I am talking about. Your fears are always lurking, taunting you with their possibility.

In Isaiah, God told Hezekiah of the impending exile of his descendants to Babylon, but assured him he would already be dead by the time this happened. In our humanness, we can identify with Hezekiah when he thought with relief, “At least there will be peace and security during my lifetime” (Isaiah 39:6-8, NLT). That was Hezekiah’s fear talking—fear that something terrible like that would happen in his lifetime. And what a loud voice fear can have. Sometimes it can even overpower the voice of God as He lovingly reassures us of His nearness.

As you can probably guess, my two worst fears were realized. My third child was born with a severe birth defect that kept him hospitalized for months, then with full-time nursing care when he was home. He was dependent on a trach and a g-tube just to live. I had entered a world I knew nothing about, the very world I had feared all my life. Later on, in the aftermath of our son’s birth, my marriage also fell apart. The years of struggle and financial stress took their toll and left my husband and I virtual strangers. We would have to fight to save our wrecked marriage. I was living my worst nightmare.

But I was living.

I learned in the midst of our struggles that our verse today is so true. God does draw near to us in the midst of our worst fears. Even as we walk through the valley of the shadow of death—the death of a loved one, the death of our dreams, the death of a marriage—He is with us, just as He promised. Not only is He near us, He is working things out, growing our faith and our character as we wrestle with our fears and learn to accept His will. While we can’t understand why He allows our fears to materialize, we later realize that we have come to know Him in a whole new way through them. He is our reward for persevering.

I know that, for me, I have come to appreciate what I went through and, while I would never choose to go through it again, I also am grateful (yes, grateful) for what God birthed within me as I lived out my worst fears. I learned that in our struggles we will see Him. In our trials we will learn to trust Him. And in our fears we will come to a new level of faith.

Dear Lord, Help me to trust in You even as my fears are realized. Help me to hear Your voice telling me that You are with me, and that I don’t need to be afraid. Help me to feel your nearness. Most of all, Lord, help me to see Your purpose for me even as I am walking through trials. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.